There’s a Hole in this Circus Tent

        Step right up. It feels more like a circus than a courtroom. The main event is a washed-up character – a “has been” of sorts. He shows up with a puffed-up chest and hair gel so thick you cannot decide if he forgot to shower and needs to fire his low budget barber or he is wearing a helmet as a shield to protect him from the truths of his past. He used to be a “someone” and now, he is a “no one” trying desperately to appear inflated and confident behind his shattered ego. It’s all a smoke show to deflect you from his true character. Tuck the crazy in with your collared shirt, it’s time to manipulate the judge.
        The attorney calls him to the witness chair. He stands. Shoulders back, gut out, anger written all over his face. He approaches the stand with a newfound strut – slow motions, leaned back, imitating the stance of the long line of criminals in his family. It’s unauthentic and theatrical. He is so caught up in his attempt to strut that he forgets to stop and swear in. Shit. This is already unraveling. 
Pull it together. Walk back and follow the instructions. Pretend to be compliant. This is your time to shine. You have been waiting for this moment for almost two years. Slow down. Breathe – a forced and dramatic breath. You need to make sure everyone knows you are annoyed and inconvenienced by the rules of the court. Rules don’t apply to you. Didn’t someone tell them? Add an eyeroll to seal the deal. 
        Back to the strut. It’s more strained now. That deep breath almost popped the top button on your pants. Poor guy is holding on by a thread. This is the only presentable outfit in your closet – a suit selected by your ex for a funeral years ago. Thank God, she gifted you the designer Italian loafers to match. Your current yet dated shoe collection wouldn’t coordinate as well – save those for grandma. 
        Now, it’s time for a dramatic recline into the chair. Take up space. Own the podium. Captivate your audience. Pretend like you have a full face of your best clown makeup on – wait, that part might be true. You are a showman – not the man who had pending felony charges for abusing your wife and children. No, you are a star. A unicorn. A gift to the courtroom. 
        They ask you to state your name. “Salvatore Giovanni Caruso.” They ask you to state your relationship with the defendant. You shout, “She is nothing to me.” Your bulging veins and cracked voice tell a different story. You want to gauge her reaction, so you stare at her – right into the eyes of your wife. Yes, you are still legally married. 
        The next question, “State your relationship with the minor children in this case.” Let’s amp up the victim statement a notch. You cry out, “They were mine until she snatched them away.” Again, stare at your wife. This time with seething disbelief for her betrayal. You still cannot wrap your head around the absurdity of her leaving YOU, the king.
        Her attorney is quick to respond. 
        “Your honor. I do not like the plaintiff’s attempts to intimidate my client. He has been glaring at her since we walked into this courtroom.”
        A series of sharp taps from the gavel attempt to restore order in the unruly courtroom. The bailiff stands and centers himself in front of the judge, between the witness stand and defendant’s table. You are finally getting all the attention you deserve. Everyone is forced to listen to you with no way out until the closing arguments. 
        The judge hits the gavel again. He states, “Mr. Caruso, I am going to ask you to direct all responses to the person asking you the questions. We will not tolerate any intimidation.”
        You feel a tad deflated but also inspired by the insinuation that you still have some level of control.
        Next question comes from your attorney, “Mr. Caruso, were you aware at any time that Mrs. Caruso was recording you without your permission?”
        Fix your face. Switch back to the victim. “No, I didn’t even know she was doing that to me.” Yes, to me. Don’t focus on the fact that you were threatening to kill her and the children in all twenty-five videos. Instead, flip the script and attempt to make her look like the criminal. There must be laws in place to protect you, the victim. Wait there are laws – but in the state of Nevada, they go right out the window when you put someone’s life at risk. Shit. Refocus.