Parts 1 and 2 can be found here.
Sheila walked through the door of her home, feeling a bit more powerful. Soon she was surrounded by her kids, Joey and Emmy, shrieking about the new bunny, and asking her when they could visit again.
“Oh shit,” she whispered, remembering the picture she texted.
“What’s wrong, Sheila?” Joe asked.
She recovered, “Nothing, nothing. I’m just tired.”
Sheila smiled and scooped up Emmy, “Yes, yes, the bunny is very cute. Maybe we can visit him tomorrow.”
Joey and Emmy both started to sing, “Yay! We’re going to see the bunny, we’re going to see the bunny,”
“Mommy said ‘maybe.’” Joe, happy to see Sheila happy, gave her a smile. Then he announced, “But now, it’s time for bed.”
After many protestations and promises, stories and prayers, the exhausted parents finally got their kids to sleep.
Now it was time for the parents’ nighttime ritual: a glass of wine for Sheila, and a beer for Joe. They collapsed on the couch and wound down from the day. She turned on an episode of her favorite romantic comedy, and he pretended to watch. Then she dozed, dreaming of a life in a far-away place. And he snuck a peek at his phone, hoping to catch up on the news for the day.
“Holy, Shit!” Joe grabbed for the clicker.
Startled, Sheila sat up, “What’s wrong? Is it the kids?”
“No, no, it’s the Senator!”
She rolled her eyes, he flipped to the news, and the anchor announced, “The big story on “Active News” is a mysterious fire at Senator McDonald’s house. Let’s go there now. Jennifer, tell us more.”
Sheila’s heart pounded so loudly that she could barely hear Jennifer. But Joe was engrossed.
“Thanks, Bob. I’m at Senator McDonald’s house, where firefighters have just extinguished the mysterious fire in his yard.”
The cameraman scanned a long line of local fire trucks, lights flashing. He then turned his camera to the firefighters, who were staring at a smoldering lump in the yard. The camera turned back to Jennifer, now with a perfectly coifed woman in a silk robe.
“I’m here with the Senator’s neighbor, Sofia Bezos. Sofia, tell us what happened.”
Sofia responded, breathlessly, “Well, I got up to let my dog Zara out, and I smelled smoke. Then I came around the corner, saw the flames in the Senator’s yard, ran back into my house, and called 911.”
The cameraman returned to the firemen, who were walking away from the extinguished lump. Jennifer shouted, “Chief, Chief, can you tell us what happened?”
He walked over to Jennifer, shaking his head in disgust. “It’s one of those stupid robot mowers. Darn thing must have overheated.”
The cameraman returned to Jennifer and Sofia, both of whom look disappointed. Then Sophia perked up, “No, no, that’s not what happened.”
“Tells us more.”
“Well, earlier today, I heard a boom and came running out of the house. The mower had run over one of those inflated eggs, which was flat on the ground.”
Jennifer feigned interest, “And?”
“Well, the gardener picked up the mower and started working on it. He was one of those, you know, … “
Confused, Jennifer asked “you know … what?”
Sofia looked to her left and right, then leaned forward to whisper, “One of those immigrant workers…”
Sheila shrieked, “That’s not what happened!”
Joe jumped up. “Shit, Sheila. How would you know? … Oh wait, you were there! What did you see?”
“Nothing, nothing! It’s that stupid mower! It’s possessed! First, it’s attacking Easter eggs, now it’s bursting into flames. The damn thing’s a monster.” She picked up the clicker and shut off the tv.
Joe protested, “Sheila, that doesn’t make sense. Mowers don’t just explode. Something, or more likely someone, set it off.”
“That’s ridiculous! Sofia’s just looking for attention, like she always does. And Antonia is a sweet man….”
Joe interrupted, “You know them?”
“Yes. She’s one of those annoying, trophy wives, always bragging about her latest Tesla and spouting conspiracy theories about immigrants and liberals.”
“And what about Antonio?” Joe asked with suspicion.
“He’s a nice man, who’s stuck with a stupid mower.”
Sheila turned and headed for the stairs, “I’ve had enough of this nonsense! I’m going to bed.”
Sheila started up the stairs, while Joe promised, “I’ll be up in a minute.” He then returned to doom scrolling on his phone.
She was glad he didn’t follow her, as it gave her time for a panic attack. She closed the bedroom door and began doom scrolling in her head.
“What if the firefighters found those eggshells? And they’re covered with my fingerprints?”
“No, that doesn’t make sense. The shells would be melted.”
“What if Sofia has one of those security cameras. And it recorded me? Or my license plate?”
“No, no, it was too dark.” Sheila took a deep breath, and then collapsed into bed.
Joe slowly opened the door, and Sheila pretended to sleep. He crawled into bed and draped his arm across her waist. Soon he was snoozing, and the white noise slowly lulled her to sleep.
Part 4
Sheila hid under the covers, while FBI agents surrounded the house. Blaring on bull horns, they ordered, “Come out with your hands up.” There was a pounding at the door, which burst open. The agents were on top of Sheila, who screamed.
Joe jumped into action.
“Sheila, Sheila, wake up, you’re having a nightmare.”
She opened her eyes to find Joey and Emmy bouncing on the bed, squealing in delight.
Sheila shook the webs out of her head, as the kids continued to bounce and sing, “We scared you, we scared you, we scared you.”
Joe laughed, “You certainly did,” and mounted a tickle attack. Sheila buried her head under the pillow in a feeble attempt to avoid the war.
As always, Joe won, as Joey pleaded, “I give up, I give up.”
Emmy continued to bounce, “Can we now go see the bunny now? Pleeeeassse.”
Sheila groaned.
Joe came to her rescue, “I think Mommy needs time to recover. Why don’t I take you to see the bunny?”
Sheila raised the pillow and looked suspiciously at Joe. Then she remembered the fire.
“Do you really think that’s a good idea?”
“Absolutely. The kids will play, and I’ll do some sleuthing. You know how I love solving mysteries.”
“There’s no mystery, Joe. It’s that stupid mower.”
“Maybe… and maybe not.”
“Come on, Mommy, let Daddy take us to see the bunny,” Emmy begged.
Sheila wanted to sleep, but she was worried. She knew she needed to go, distract Joe, and hide any evidence.
“Ok, ok. Daddy will make you some breakfast, while Mommy gets dressed. Then we’ll all go see the bunny.”
The kids cheered, and Joe looked suspicious. “Don’t you want to sleep in?”
“Yes, I do. But I like proving you wrong even more. So, let’s go arrest the murdering mower.”
Joe laughed and herded the kids out of the room. She kicked off the covers, closed the door, and dropped onto the bed. She knew that this was going to be a long day.
She came down the stairs to find the gang ready to go. Joe handed her a travel mug, and soon they were off to their next “adventure” at the Senator’s house. But as they turned corner, Joe hit the brakes, and came to a screeching halt, before hitting a barricade, guarded by a local cop. Joe rolled down the window and asked, “What’s going on?“
Grumpily, the policeman responded, “Didn’t you hear the ‘news’?” There was a small fire at the Senator’s house last night. The Chief thinks it was that stupid robot mower, but the Senator is calling it an ‘assassination attempt.’” Now, the neighborhood’s crawling with FBI agents and new reporters looking for a story.”
Smiling, Joe turned to Sheila. “You see, it is a mystery.”
Sheila slowly shook her head. “No, it’s a nightmare.”
Wood Shed Writers 
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